Is Everything Falling Apart?

That rock-bottom moment: everything seems like it is falling apart.

It is. And for good reason, too. Yet in this moment, it doesn't feel like that. It feels like shit. The pathway you've chosen for life was supposed to make you feel happy. Or at least happy-er. Wasn't it? But despite all of the boxes you've checked over the years, that deep-seated feeling of happiness and fulfillment continues to elude you. You think to yourself... "Surely I should have it together by now."

In the moment of time where nothing seems to be working out for you, it's somewhat normal to start questioning yourself.

"Is it me?"
"Am I royally screwing this life thing up?"
"What if I've been doing it all wrong?"

Your mind has taken flight into a flurry of thoughts that dovetail from one into the next, causing a hurricane of worry, doubt, fear and uncertainty. You know how to deal with this though, right?

"Just keep going!" you remind yourself. "Keep pushing on through." Yet no matter how many times you've said these words to yourself, and no matter how much you continue to do and achieve, you keep coming back to feeling exactly the same way. Except now... it's getting worse.

And then it hits you. You've created a life that you desperately want to escape from.

You've built a life that should make you happy. But right now you're feeling anything but that. And no matter how much money you make, or how successful you become, no matter how many flights you take, lovers you meet, relationships you enter, or how banging your body may look... it's simply not enough. It's like trying to fill up the bathtub, but unbeknownst to you, the plug has been removed. And you're doing more and more and more to try and make up for the fact that the water line in the tub seems to be falling, yet you know you can't keep going on for much longer. Something has to change, and fast. And so the search for a solution begins.

The world has taught you to look outside of yourself for answers.

For some of you, you've found the self-help guru/s that have the success and the kind of life that you want. It's easy to spot right? They flash images of their lifestyle across Instagram and it's colourful, exciting and enticing you to learn their secrets and follow their rules for life. You buy their books, listen to their podcasts, complete their courses, attend their workshops... You listen to their words, you take action. You do it all.

And it works.

You start feeling differently. Life starts to gain back it's colour, breeding a level of excitement that seems like the perfect antithesis to the darkness you we're experiencing. Driven by a new vision, your days have a brand new focus. The release from the old life is simply beautiful. The clouds have shifted, the spark within reignited. Days turn into weeks, weeks turn into months, months turn into years... You're on a pathway that seems to hold the winning formula for life.

Whether you've explored the compendium of self-help books, swiped (and saved!) your way through thousands of motivational quotes on Instagram, devoured countless hours of Tiktok videos or accessed the audio library of the podcast world, there's no doubt you have enough information to turn your life around. Yet in pursuit of the life you truly love, you find yourself back in a place where life doesn't feel the way you want it to feel. You've set the goals, achieved them, and started doing life differently. It's had what many would call a positive effect. Yet deep down, something is amiss, and now, you feel stuck.

With all the information you've learned, all the changes you've made, surely you should be in a different position by now... Shouldn't you? Instead, you feel lost, confused about which direction to take, and uncertain that the pathway you choose will take you to where you want to be. You're at somewhat of a stand still. You're holding onto the life you've got, because after all it is pretty good, but you're aware it's not the life you want, not completely anyway. And, you're afraid of taking the next step in case you either a) fuck it all up, or b) lose what you have and end up back at square one.

The problem you face isn't a lack of commitment, nor is it a problem with your ability to execute. You've already proved to the world that you're highly effective and can get the job done. The problem you face isn't that there is an inherent problem with who you are either, although after the life you've lived, it's easy to find these kind of thoughts about yourself. All the books you've read, podcasts you've listened to, courses you've completed and/or workshops you've attended weren't wrong either. Their wisdom is perfect and timely, and served a purpose for you to get to where you wanted to go, based on what was important for you at the time.

The problem you face is that you just want to be happy, and you're realizing that no matter how much money you make, what job title you obtain, how famous you become, how good your relationship may appear to be or even how good you look, there is nothing external that can actually make you happy until you're happy with who the fuck you actually are.

Most of the world has been taught to look outside themselves for answers on how to live their life and be happy. Said differently, you've been taught to trust the advice of others instead of listening to the wisdom of your own soul.

When you look to others for advice on what to do with your own life, you often put the end result as the destination point that will give you the result you desire: money, success, great body, relationship etc. Yet what you think you want and what you actually want are completely different. You want the millions of dollars because you believe that when you get it, you will be happy and free. You want the great body because you believe that when you get it, you will be lovable, and like, maybe even love who you see in the mirror. You want the perfect relationship because you believe that this will give you the love you desire, and put an end to your loneliness.

This illuminates an eternal truth. What you actually want at the end of the day is a feeling. All of us want this. We want happiness. We want love. We want passion and excitement and days that flow with a joyous ease. We want the freedom to live how we desire and we want a state of inner peace so we can enjoy it all. And we have been led to believe that we will have these things only once the work is done. That when we retire we can finally get to put our feet up and relax and enjoy life.

Yet a quick look across the world and you will see that this isn't so. Take a glimpse at the big picture for a moment. The majority of people who have retired, even those who have retired early, aren't entirely happy. They're not happy because they followed sacrificed one or more parts of themselves in order to get what they think they want. They might have achieved the success they desire, they might have the money, the relationship, the time and money freedom to do whatever they want whenever they want. Few might have even been able to sustain a peak level of health. But for most of the world? Even though they have these things, they're not entirely happy.

They spent so much of their life climbing the ladder, only to get to the top and realize they climbed the wrong one. They've spent years of their life helping others build their dream instead of focusing in on their own. Many people who retired didn't spend time identifying the things that truly make them happy in the doing of them. In other words, they didn't pursue the journey that lit them up from the inside. They put the feeling as something to be achieved, the ultimate end result. They looked forward to the day that they could retire and put their feet up. The sacrificed themselves, their health and their relationships (yes, that includes the relationship they have with themselves!) just so they could one day retire and have it all.

So perhaps this next question might be the most important question of them all.

Are you building a life that you need to retire from?

Perhaps you feel like you're on the edge of a mid-life crisis. You know, that enticing feeling of burning it all to the ground and starting again. Running away, finding yourself. Re-inventing yourself... If so, I'm glad we met. Welcome. You are so welcome here.

The truth is, as you will see it, is that you get to have both. You get to be successful and fulfilled. You get to have the houses and the cars and the clothes and the beautiful holidays and all of the finer things in life, if you so desire. You just don't have to sacrifice yourself to get it. You get to engage with work that lights you up from the inside, be incredibly successful, and be at peace with who you are and how you're showing up in the world. You get to celebrate yourself for everything you've done and who you've become, because as it stands, you are in the most perfect place.

You are, in fact, reading this because something has already stirred within you. You are on the journey to discovering who you truly are and what you're here on this planet to do.

Welcome, dear friend. There is room here for you.