Dreading Work? It Might Be Time to Ghost Your Career

If I was not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow after a four day weekend, this is what I would do...

And, as enticing as it is to just stick it in tell you what I would do, I feel sex life is so much better with a bit of foreplay... I mean, helping you understand why this is important... 😉

So let's face facts. Not looking forward to going back to work tomorrow (or any day for that matter) is a sign that you are either:

a) not doing what you really want to be doing in life.
b) doing what you love, but doing it in a way that is not sustainable long-term i.e. it's costing you your mental, physical or emotional health and well-being.

Having no desire to go back to work is like a big flashing neon sign that you've been ignoring for months, maybe even years. Yes, you've taught yourself to keep going through the struggle (because that's what most people do), instead of actually enquiring into what this feeling means and why you continue to feel this way. You're caught in a chase for money, but you're sacrificing yourself and the journey to get there. And, a mid-crisis is looming unless you actually start listening to what your mind, body and soul are trying to tell you.

Moreover, you're addicted to (or dependent upon) something (drugs, alcohol, porn, TV, food, social media, to name but a few) to help you cope, because sacrificing yourself by spending 40+ hours a week doing something you don't really want to be doing means you need an escape. An outlet for happiness. A way to deal with the never-ending thoughts you have about yourself and your life.

Maybe, just maybe, you're just overworking. But whatever it is for you, you're struggling in some way. And if that's the case, it's also probable that your mental health is at best treading water. You might have all the tools to help you cope, but the fact remains... The only reason why you have to cope in the first place is because you've been ignoring the warning signs that your life (i.e. your mind, body and soul) has been giving you.

Thus, the level of happiness and peace and satisfaction you desire in life continues to elude you. You might even be successful. But let's be real. There's only so much happiness you can buy...

Because you cannot buy fulfillment. You cannot buy long-lasting satisfaction. You can get glimpses of it, sure. But settling for this is like settling for a string of one-night stands when what you ultimately desire is a relationship where you are madly in love and feel safe to be yourself and speak your truth. It's like visiting your favourite city in the world and never leaving the airport. Working and settling for scraps of satisfaction and joy, like when you close a big deal or complete a project or receive an award... Well, it's a temporary solution for a much bigger problem.

And you not looking forward to going back to work... It's a warning sign. A big one. On the flip side of that, not having laser sharp clarity on what excites you, or what you really want to be doing with your life - another warning sign. Or even knowing what you want to do but not doing it in case it doesn't work out, or you're not good enough yet, or any other BS reason you tell yourself... Yep, warning sign.

This might appear to be bad news. Yet, amidst all of these warning signs, there's hope. You know why? Because it's all OK. Really, it's more than OK.

Here's why... (I guarantee one or more of these things applies to you!)

• You've been ushered by society to 'make it', which coincidentally also means doing whatever it takes, even if that means sacrificing your health and/or happiness in the process.

• You were guided away from things that 'might not work out'.

• You were guided to choose a direction long before you even knew much about life and what you really enjoy. i.e. you picked something to study at 16 or 17 years of age and didn't allow yourself to play in life and choose a direction based on what you truly love.

• You've been trying to hard to fit in with the world: clothes, cars, homes, overseas holidays, dining experiences... yet you've lost yourself in the process.

• You chose what you were good at (and have built a successful career doing this) but it's not what you really want to be doing each day.

• You were cautioned by family and friends to not follow your wildest dreams because it's hard, and you might not make it. So, instead of giving it a go, you played it safe, and allowed security to be your driving force, so now you have a safe and secure life - a life that looks good on the outside - but has the real you trapped within, and your soul is begging to be let out to play.

It's OK because whatever the situation is for you... it's actually not your fault.
But, and it is a BIG but...

It is your responsibility.

No, you cannot change your past, but you can choose your future. And, your future depends not just on what you do (yes, that's important!), but how you do it. Do it with obligation, need, apprehension or force and you'll continue to suffer. Your mind will be a mess and you won't be happy. However, if you do it with love, creative expression, purpose and joy? Well, I'll let you identify how that will work out for you.

So, in light of what's been shared above, and following through on my promise to provide guidance of what I would do if I wasn't looking forward to going back to work tomorrow... Here's what I would do. In fact, this was the very process (I've refined it over the years) that I used which lead me to quitting my full-time job and getting to work on what truly mattered to me.

1. LIST. I would make a list of things that bring me joy. Big or small. Seemingly significant or not.

2. SOLO DATE (daily). Each day for one hour I would do something on this list that brings me joy in doing of it - not for any other reason! If I was doing it to get something from it (e.g. money, sex, popularity, fame, control) but I didn't enjoy the whole process, I wouldn't do it. N.B. If I couldn't find an hour a day to do things that bring me joy, I would do a stocktake on time, noting how much time I'm spending watching TV, scrolling through social media, working or looking after others. Not having an hour a day for myself would be a sign that I'm ignoring myself somewhere, and there's changes to be made.

3. NATURE. I would get outside in nature every single day for at least an hour either walking, riding a bike, sitting in a park, going to the beach etc. without my phone. (Yes, I could do this in my lunch hour). This is to help clear my mind and help me reconnect with what's important. I would also make every effort to spend as much time as possible with my bare feet in the sand or on the earth - this will ground me and help bring me back to what's important. hint: it's not what is in your head!

4. VISION. I would spend one hour each week envisioning what I would love to do with my life. I would just close my eyes and let my mind wander into how I'd love to spend my days and would journal on anything that showed up repeatedly.

These four points will help you re-connect what truly matters to you. They're easy to do, and also easy not to do, so just be aware if you're already mentally palming this off as unimportant, or something you'll do later. (Another warning sign!) 😜

Following this process will inspire ideas, and remind you of what you really want to be doing in your life. Whatever shows up for you, pay attention, as this is providing a direction for your life that has real meaning, real purpose. Most importantly, when you find that and start following that, you'll rarely, if ever, wake up not wanting to go to work.

You'll want to work.
You'll be excited by it.
You'll look forward to it.

With all my love,
Adam xx