Rest First. Then Everything Else. (The Simple Shift That Changed How I Live)

A smattering of birds. The echo of construction. An unusual nod towards the markings of winter, albeit a Gold Coast one. It's warm enough to be outside in a shorts and a tee, but cool enough for me to grab a jumper on my way out the door—just in case.

I like this feeling: slow, present and curious. The park across the road from home provides shelter from the sun, even if today the clouds are doing more protective work than the pine trees. Even so, the shelter provides a subtle stillness, and creates the perfect environment for me to be here, book in hand, coffee close by.

I am sprawled out over my favourite picnic rug, a blue and white check. The stripes that play against each other are different in widths and depth, so it creates a display of coloured squares that are anything but consistent. To me, this piece of fabric represents self love. It was a purchase I made when money was tight, and had declared that my happiness in this moment (and utter love for this rug) was more important than the worry of money, something I later accepted as truth.

The joy of being alive: that's what I feel in this moment. It is, in essence, simple. Simplistic because it doesn't require very much. Yet, with the makings of today's modern approach to living, it often feels more challenging and complex to most people.

Yet, to me, now, I do realize how simple it is. It's the slowing down, the stopping that's the hardest part. It's the letting go of the need to be doing something, it's the willingness to forego the to-do list (just for a few moments!) and the preparedness to go against the hustle culture that insists that rest and relaxation are only earned once the work is done.

It took me over a decade for the epiphany: the work is never done. There is always more to do. And with the ping of notifications that somehow manage to find their way through my iPhone screen, even though I'm adamant about turning them all off, it seems like there is a near constant flurry of things to give my attention to. My best mate sending me clips on Instagram that I'll no doubt like, some evoking laughter, others sheer amazement. But most often, it's a collection of electronic music that hooks us in.

We share love for a lot of things, he and I. But nothing quite like the love of electronic music. Even in this moment, it plays whilst I write.

Everything I've shared so far is a reflection of joy, and a sign of connection to the moment. To slow down and notice life, to taste it, to be in the fullest experience of the day. This is an art. One that seems forgotten in society. The busy folk among us declare that there are not enough hours in the day for such level of R&R, yet they fail to see that they are the only one who creates such a schedule.

It's not their fault, though. We've been sold an approach to life that favours action over rest, goals over health, success over self-love. It took me over a decade of busy-ness to realize that this kind of approach to life is backwards. Self-love fuels success in the best way; good, even great health helps us hit goals with ease; and, rest allows us to act without force or needing coffee to get us through.

It's certainly less favourable to accept this as truth, for it means coming to terms with the fact that we've been operating rather ineffectively in our life for longer than we're willing to admit. It ruffles the feathers of those who standby their busy schedule like it's the Mona Lisa, who cling tightly to their way of doing things and claim it's the only way, meanwhile their mind feels more like an amusement park than an ocean of calm, and they're trying every hack under the sun (read: literally everything) to find moments where they can pause and find a moment for themselves.

They find it, but usually only after a project finishes, or when they get sick and their body forces them to rest for longer than feels comfortable. They create it through weekends away and overseas holidays, giving them just enough of a break to warrant their 'push' way of life. Yet, many refuse to budge on how they operate long-term. They live on an approach to time which enlists it as scarce and running out, guided by an unknown date which they are unconsciously working towards, where they finally get a chance to stop and actually enjoy life.

This was my reality for much of my life. After battling with addiction and mental health issues for a little too long, and choosing to find a new way forward, I started exploring the possibility of rest being a pre-cursor to effectiveness.

It became apparent to me that my desire for rest and relaxation was my mind, body and soul asking for what it wants. I learned that sickness and stress was brought upon on myself, largely based on what I was putting in or on my body, and/or how I was approaching life. When I slowed down, when I started nourishing my body with what it actually needed, my health improved and I stopped getting sick. My mind found peace. I felt more connected to myself and things that inherently mattered to me.

The interesting thing about this new approach (N.B. it's actually ancient philosophy, we've just forgotten it!) to my life is that I started functioning better. I could do more than what I was doing before, partly because I let go of things that I was doing more out of obligation than desire, partly because I had the mental, emotional and physical capacity to do more.

And in case you're wondering... No, I'm not perfect with this approach. In fact, I'm writing these words after recently rediscovering the importance and effectiveness of slowing down. I spent the last few months with a busy-er mind. Not a worry or anxiousness or rumination kind of busy, more of a "I don't have mental peace right now" kind of busy. Thankfully, the re-connection back to some simple practices felt easier this time round, kind of like riding a bike, which, coincidentally was a part of my process.

These words are just one avenue of my creative expressions, a work of art, a practice of allowing these words to form on a page without having to 'think'. This is more of a space of receiving, of allowing. I call it divine expression, where I am simply a conduit for these words to come through, yet you may call it what you like. It doesn't matter what you call it, just as long as you call me! Hahaha OK that was a BAD joke. But maybe not as bad as I think. 🤣 Anyway, I digress.

It now feels appropriate to shift the focus from me to you. May I ask... What have these words stirred within you? Have these words stung as an uncomfortable truth? Has frustration or anger arisen alongside a need to declare why this way is wrong, or why it wouldn't work for you? Perhaps you're feeling glad that someone has been able to voice the very challenge you've been facing for years, maybe even decades. Whatever your experience is, I invite you to be with it.

It would be easy for me right now to recommend a course of action. Indeed, that is what feels comfortable and normal for me to do. However, I realize that no matter what I offer, it is still something that comes from me. And, what I've learned through this amazing journey of life, is that the best advice comes from within.

My only invitation here is for you to listen to that voice, your voice. What do you feel is the best course of action? Is there something that you'd like to change? Is there anything you feel inspired to do? Or is it 'finally time' to do that thing you keep putting off even though you know it's going to change your world forever?

That's my suggestion. My only one. Actually, one more.

Follow through on that voice and take action. That's it.

This is your reminder that you don't need to reinvent the wheel to change your life. I have found (more times than not!) that letting go, saying no, slowing down or taking a break has given me more than pushing through and trying to DO more.

These words are here, of course, for you to use however you wish. And, if at any point you would like support in navigating your inner journey, you need only reach out to ask.

With so much love,

Adam