When I Stopped Lying To Myself, EVERYTHING Changed.

It's an interesting space to be in: a blend between music and writing; a dance between two creative expressions, both of which speak directly to my heart and soul.

These two aspects of my life aren't work, per se. They certainly don't feel like it, but perhaps that's because I was conditioned to believe that work had to feel like work, like somehow work wasn't meant to be easy, or that work that wasn't hard work was somehow less beneficial. It certainly wasn't praised by society.

I have to come to learn that hard work is only hard because it's out of alignment. When the thing I'm doing for 'work' lights me up from the inside, it's not difficult. It's easy. It flows. And, I can spend hours upon hours doing it and then feel the internal nudge that I need to take a break.

I'm not always good at taking breaks. I often get so lost in the world of my 'work' that breaks happen when my body says it's time. I don't schedule them, and yes, even though I've learned from many global world class leaders that breaks are important...

Being in flow feels even better. Magical, even.

Am I still to learn about integrating breaks in whilst maintaining flow? Maybe. But it's not a checklist item, it's certainly not an inherent problem that needs to be addressed in this moment. When I get to the end point of the day, which is usually about 2pm (N.B. I often find myself starting around 7am-sometimes earlier!) it's a dip in the ocean or some time in the park and just allowing myself to reconnect with nature, grounding, breathing, being. Stillness. Maybe some yoga.

And all of this? Feels so fucking good.

And best of all- I'm creating something meaningful, worthwhile, powerful. There's zero doubt, and there's this unwavering sense of certainty that what I'm doing and how I'm doing it is exactly it. I'm on the exact right path. Of course, this will continue to expand and evolve over time, but the foundation pieces are in place, and I'm loving each and every day.

I'm sharing this because I've discovered alignment to ourselves is one of the key pieces to a happy, fulfilling existence. All the external forms of life are lovely. All the stuff: things, experiences, travel, clothes, great food etc. Brilliant, beautiful aspects of life that get to be enjoyed. But after growing up in a rather privileged experience of life, and having it all but still feeling empty inside, I went on a search.

Truth be told, I wasn't searching for meaning. I stumbled across it. I was searching for a way to ease my troubled mind. To finally feel good about life that didn't involve a drink, a line of coke, a pill, a pipe or something else. I was depressed, anxious, addicted, and putting on a brave face pretending like I was doing well! Of course, there is nothing wrong with any these things, but my joy was often dependent on them. They were coping mechanisms to deal with the life I had rather than creating the life I truly wanted. And I was hooked.

Now? These things rarely get airtime in my life. Sure, I can party if/when I want. And yes, when I do it usually destroys me for a few days, but I hardly choose this for myself anymore. I don't need this, and I certainly don't even want this in my life very often because the life I've created, that is, how I feel when I wake up every single day, is so fucking joyous that taking myself away from that feels... pointless. OK, Slightly insane. 😝 But most of all, I rarely even have the desire for it.

I guess the point I'm trying to make here is that finding an intrinsic reason to live changed my entire world. Not HAVING to get up in the morning for a job. WANTING to get up for 'work'. Being so excited by what I get to do each and every day that life gains momentum in the most beautiful of ways. More joy. More ease. More flow.

Life isn't hard. It's fucking beautiful.

And all of this came about when I really got to know myself. When I was willing to sit with all the ways I sold myself short, where I said "yes" when I really meant "no". When I said, "I'm fine!", when deep down I wasn't. Where I told myself, "I love what I do!" when the real truth was that I was good at what I did, but wasn't full in love with it. It was close. Oh baby, I was certainly close to doing what I loved. But I kept accepting something that was good enough rather than going after what I really wanted.

When I was willing to get quiet, be still and actually listen to the inner voice, and then take it's message and do something about it, my whole world shifted in ways I couldn't imagine. It took courage. Lots of courage. It took me being willing to be bigger than my fears and doubts, over and over again. Falling down. Getting back up. Being willing to fail and rise again. But all of this was in a pursuit for something that felt like me.

A life that feels so joyous just to be alive.

What a gift I have given myself, and now this is a gift that I get to share with the world! So of course, I'm going to speak about it. Of course I'm going to write about it! Of course I'm going to share this beautiful experience of life with others and allow myself to receive and enjoy life to its full capacity.

Because my life is no longer focused on getting something, or achieving something.

It's focused on who I can be. What I can give. How I can give. And doing this in ways that are in full alignment to me. Where my 'work' is legitimately my most favourite thing in the world! If I achieve something in the process? Fuck yes. And I have goals. But they don't define what I do. Joy takes front and centre stage, and I build my goals around that.

Because my view on life? Fuck retiring early. That shit is for people who aren't deeply engaged with their most favourite thing in the world. I'm building a life that I don't want to retire from.

Adam xx

P.S.

Want to know more about how I got here— off the roller-coaster, out of addiction, and into a life that actually feels as good as good as it looks?

I poured the whole process into my book, titled "Win Back Your Weekend".
It’s not just a story, it’s a map.

Grab it here.